This is very personal, but I must write it.
Everyone has faults. You excuse them because you
love them. But in the back of your mind, you know
that one day you will have to deal with them.
Especially if they are extreme.
My husband has anger issues, control issues.
For 21 years I have loved him, and put up
with the issues. Many times with harm to
myself, depression and hurt are just
some of the feelings.
Something happened. I went to Missouri with my
son and Father to go to a family reunion. While I
was gone, he broke. I never seen him so bad.
He cried, then cussed me out, then told me to
come home now. I was shocked. Then after
the 20 calls a day at all times of the night, I
got angry and stopped answering the calls for awhile.
By the time I came home, things got worse.
I got a terrible cold so I was run down from the
cold and stress. He forbid me to go on a cruise in
November with my Sister, Mom, Aunt & cousins.
It was to celebrate my Sister turning 30 and Me
turning 40. My Father paid for the cruise and
airfare in full. No refunds.
Now, he apologized for ruining my vacation
to Missouri. But says I can not go on this
cruise or it ends our marriage. He has been
so bad, that he moved out twice in one week.
Still he calls, still he comes to the house to
see me. He says he loves me deeply.
I love him too.
Today we talked. He says he is coming
home that his heart is torn and he needs
to be with his family and wife. But he hasn't
changed his mind. He thinks the cruise is so
wrong to go without your husband. But it is a
girl's cruise and no one else is having these issues.
I am worn down, I am numb.
I love him so much, I don't want to loose him
or our marriage. But at the same time, I don't
want to hide under a rock for the rest of my life
and never do anything for me. I don't want to
do anything that would harm our marriage,
I wouldn't do that! I just want to be me.
I know this is not my regular posts, but I just
needed to say this for me.
If you want to comment or email me,
I am open to thoughts.
christineannettedesigns@gmail.com
Thanks, Christine
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